Thursday, February 4, 2010

Happy Birthday to Me?

is mah birfday where r caek, dammit!? I'm older today. Don't feel older. Why doesn't fifty feel inherently different than thirty? Well, it does some. I have aches and pains I didn't have when I was thirty. Arthritis, a bum knee and a cantankerous hip make life more painful than at thirty. Then again, I still had migraines back then. I seem to have outgrown those. Might be a fair trade off.

Still, I don't feel fifty.

My sister is in shock I'm even admitting to a birthday, much less my age. *cackle* Members of our family usually ignore birthdays and do serious injury to those who might remind us of the significance of the day.

I had trouble accepting thirty. Couldn't say the word for months before and after the event. Forty was actually easier although I didn't admit to having a birthday. And now fifty... Well, I don't look at the numbers as much as I do where I am in my life.

At thirty, I was in a marriage with real problems. I was going to night school working on my accounting degree, working long hours at a new job. I didn't have much of a personal life. Most of my friends were tied up in my marriage and they were starting to drift away. Married friends don't like watching someone else's marriage implode. Makes them examine their own and if it wasn't strong... Well, it is uncomfortable.

At forty, I already had moved back to Arkansas, leaving the bad marriage behind five years before. I was in a job I enjoyed. My degree was FINALLY done and I was making a salary commensurate with my experience AND my degree! Things were good. Life was good.

At fifty? Hmmm... You'd think being only part-time employed, living from hand to mouth off royalty checks, would make me ignore fifty even more than thirty, wouldn't you? But while things are difficult, I've found what I want to do when I grow up. I want to write! So far from that accounting degree that took me forever to get! *cackle* But I never felt joy working as an accountant. I took pride in my work. I enjoyed the people I worked with. But who gets a rush of joy so strong it can bring you to tears over financial statements?

So while I'm older, mostly unemployed and always broke these days, I'm happy. I'm really happy. So much so not even fifty can dampen my enthusiasm!

25 comments:

Diamonds in the Rough Editors said...

Happy Birthday. There is a nice mental maturity that comes with age, isn't there?

Diane said...

As my grandma said age is just a number. And she lived to her mid 90's.

Chris said...

Happy birthday! *fantasizes about turning 50 and maybe not having migraines anymore*

Anny Cook said...

Turned 60 a couple months ago. I don't feel that old either. Blessings on your day today! May you have a really great day!

As for 30? Wow. I had four kids by then. Sixty is much better. I think we learn to be content in our space as we get older.

May your next ten years be fabulous!

Eyre said...

Happy birthday! I hope you have a spectacular day.

Michelle Polaris said...

Happy Birthday. And the fact that you can celebrate it and recognize how much happier you've become means you are definitely aging with grace. I hope to have as much ten years from now when I'm at 50.

Regina Carlysle said...

Happy Birthday Shayla! I did the 50 thing almost three years ago and honestly, it was easier to handle than 30 or 40. Life always seems to be in such upheaval at those ages and who needs it. Seems I hit the '50' b'day and learned how to breathe again. There is something wonderful about knowing you KNOW a few more things, you're more settled, and well, just happier. There is definitely something to be said for that.

Kayelle Allen said...

I've been in tears over a financial statement before. Not from joy, mind you. o_0

You write and act like a mature kid. Well, okay, maybe not *that* mature, but you definitely have an ageless quality. If you hadn't told me, I'd never have guessed your age from your writing.

They say you're as young as what you feel. How about you and I go find some hot guys in their twenties and see if that works...

=^_^= Happy Birthday, Shayla!

ErotRomReader (Janna) said...

Happy Birthday! I agree, your writing is ageless, I never would have guessed you're 50.
I turned 39 a few weeks ago (yep an aquarius too) and have to face the big 4! 0! next year. Seems pretty horrible right now :) but all you can do is accept it, right?
Hope you have a wonderful day!

GPS said...

Happy B-Day
I stoppd at 39, I refused to go any further. It's all a state of mind anyway.

lissa said...

Happy Birthday!!!!! Want me to make you a cake!

I don't mind birthdays. I celebrate the day and it's all mine. I wear a little tiara everywhere I go. I get a cake made for me. This year I'm giving presents to others for my birthday and doing a blog party.

So, I hope you do something special just for you from you, Shayla!

~lissa

H said...

Happy Birthday, Shayla!

It may just be another day and age may be only a number, but it is good to celebrate something every day (and as my father says, "Getting older is better than the alternative".
Cheers :)

Rachel Lynne said...

Hi Shayla! I count you as a good friend and am happy that you're here! Visit my blog and receive your present.

I know what you mean about older and wiser. I hit 40 this year and, while not happy that I'm overweight and getting way too grey, I'm comfortable with myself for the first time in my life. For me, it has less to do with age than in finding something worthwile. I'm a writer. I have a purpose. I am confidant that I'll finally finish a book and it will be published this year and that makes me content.
Many happy returns and all that :)

Rach

jennifer said...

happy bday :)

Selena Illyria said...

Happy Birthday! Love the LOLCat.

Pamela said...

Happy Birthday!

katsrus said...

Happy Birthday. Have a great day! I don't mind 50 at all. I think 40 hit me much harder. Guess it hit me I was grown up or something. LOL. I try to ignore birthdays but; they always seem to show up. LOL. I'm glad your at a happy place in your life. Good for you!

Sue B

Denise said...

Happy Birthday, Shayla! I've always believed that age is a case of Mind over Matter--If You Don't Mind, It Don't Matter! I've never been plagued by the birthday syndrome. I enjoy every one and I'm glad to hear that you're finally getting that mindset. Your birthday is an opportunity to cherish yourself. So, enjoy! Denise G.

Laurann Dohner said...

Happy Birthday!!!!

Lexi said...

Happy Birthday, Shayla! Aquarius rules!

Betty Hanawa said...

Whooo-hooo, Shayla! Happy, happy birthday.

Turning 40 gave me a burst of energy. My first published book was released the month after I turned 50. But 60 is laughingly maniacally at me, taunting me with "You're getting Ooooolllllddddd." Shudder

Shayla Kersten said...

Thank you, everyone, for all the wonderful comments! You've made the day special! I had to work on my b'day so I didn't get to do much and I was too tired last night to do more than fall into bed!

Hugs all around! Heck, let's just do a group hug! *HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*

Mindy said...

Happy B'day Shayla!
An age saying that I think holds true "Old enough to know better and young enough not to care"
Think about all the freedom us people who know better have
Sex with no children, sex when YOU want with no little'uns around and the time to ENJOY it.
Mindy :)

Allison Knight said...

Have a great day, Shayla!
As far as celebrating birthdays, we don't celebrate mine. After all, who wants to celebrate a birthday on Christmas? To busy with the other stuff!

Allison

Rasha said...

Oh Shayla I am sorry I missed this! Happy Birthday honey though its late I know. I hope this year gives you everything you want and so much more :)